Today's works truly wore me out. I now couldn't think straight and my head is about to explore. In fact, none of those were supposed to be done by me. It's just one of the employee couldn't make it and the manager of the development department wished me to take her place for a while, completely ignoring the fact that I might have had something important to do.
No, but it still makes me a little angry and tired.
I know if I want to be someone more than I am now I need to work three times harder than I have done. However, I don't think I like it that much anymore. I feel stupid most of times and when I ask some questions, they treat me like a child. It's not a bad thing. They are all fully adults who have worked for more than three years and have fully capacity to teach me something more. It's just sometimes they talk about one thing in different ways.
My boss's assistant wasn't taught like I am. At that time, she needed to get to works immediately because their trainee just left a lot of jobs unfinished. She used to be an assistant so her work efficiency is truly incredible. I think she can totally pull off my character in the future. However, since she couldn't speak English as well as I do, she could only be an assistant.
When I think about it, I always feels a little chilly and frightened. If I didn't learn well in English like I have done, I might be her. And if I didn't keep learning, I would be her. It's not a bad thing of course, but it's just never my scene. Being bossed around for my entire life? It just never crossed my mind, and when I see her face, I realize that if I didn't work hard, I would be another her. Maybe it would be worse since I am not a careful person. Every time I send a package, I need to double check about three times and still feel insecure. She is way better at paper works. When it comes to efficiency and prudence, I think no one could compete with her.
Anyway, I think I am going to start posting some English paragraphs. It would be so much nicer after I finish my Japanese test, which I could almost confirm you to be a complete failure.
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